So the day came, my birthday, after 28 years it becomes less important each year and the countdown to 30 begins. This year I knew I wanted it to be sort of chill and just a night to sit out and have some beers. Who the fuck was I kidding. It started out like that, we went to Dutch's and I ordered a Dead guy. Right then at that moment I knew shit would be spinning in less than 3 hours. So we were there for a little bit. I got a pumpkin pie which is my fav and a gift from a friend you might have seen it in the preview. It was a book about exercises you can do as a gentlemen in a suit and you better god damn believe I am a gentleman **nod** (slight curtsy as well). After this amazingness happened and we did some exercises in Dutch's like pretend sponge bathes and whatnot we headed over to Animations where the shit show began.
At this point in the evening I have a hard time remembering all that happened so I will give the time line I think happened and fill in the blanks with amazing things.
10:00 pm - Beer is ordered and i start my sipping not feeling too bad right now
10:15 pm - Someone gets me my first shot of goldschlager FML
10:15:20 pm - Shot gone Jeremy starts to feel warm
10:20 pm - Another shot of goldschlager comes and I drink the shit out of it
10:21 pm - I think another comes, I slam it harder than ... (I am a gentleman again I won't use the 2,463,764 analogies of Paris Hilton/Kardasian I am thinking of **Nod**)
10:22-??? - At this point time is not being recorded by my brain I have taken multiple shots of Goldschlager drank some high alcohol content of beer and things start to get real
Guessing around 10:45 - Everyone is having a good time and laughing exactly what I wanted for my b-day.... while they converse I sneak off and read a couple pages of my new book, do some hand grasps exercises and lunges then head back to join the group.
11:00 pm - Someone buys me a can of fat cat beer, the beer that tastes like raisins I drink a quarter of it and almost go into shock and pass out. I then think it's a good idea to drink a shot of goldschlager and chase it with fat cat. Thus, making the now infamous cinnamon raisin bagel shot.
11:10ish pm - Seriously at this point i am just making up times no idea where I am at, how much I have drank and if I am still wearing pants at this point
11:20 pm - Tell embarrassing story about my ex in Chicago, then this is hazy and someone might need to confirm but I am pretty sure I did the defibrillator (best dance move evaaaa) and then some sort of Wayne's World thrust swaawing movement
11:30 pm - Another double of goldschlager is ordered I have no desire to drink it, everyone starts banging on the table yelling whiskers, I fall for this tactic drink the shot and then head out to the bushes on the side of the building... like a boss.
11:35 pm on - I get home safely go inside my house and think that I am going to die. I try to watch a movie but just feel sick and dead. Texts were sent to plenty of people and I don't even want to repeat what was said in some of them. But I think the night was a complete success and I am glad the people who came, came and everyone had fun. It was suppose to be a chill night... yeah fucking right, Goldschlager is a little bitch and she does not do chill.
You are missing the last shot. I bought it for you immediately after your last double. I then took a sip of raisin beer and almost died. Karma for buying you that final shot.
ReplyDeleteI think it is clear than that I absolutely do not remember this happening :)
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