Jeremy's year in review

All right so 2010 is coming to a close, if I could sum up this year it was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from just being a dick to the other ducks or something. Possibly from fucking up the flying V they were attempting. There is no way I can talk about everything that went horrible and even the somewhat good stuff that happened. My only hope to portray this to you all is via my incredible Microsoft paint skills in which I will graph this bitch out (in paint). All I know is that 2011 should be my best year of my life....hopefully *Cue music*

Christmas Memories.

Ok, so it's the Holidays again. That means two things to me at this point in my life. Well, maybe three. One, people become the biggest dicks in the world. Two, the gyms become packed because everyone with their resolutions. Finally, I remember what I thought of Santa when I was little. Now don't take this post as me hating the Holidays because I really do enjoy them. The people I am around are cheerful and I get to see my entire family. That only happens this time of year. I think the only real thing that is different for me than most is my thoughts about this Santa character when I was a kid. I don't know if my Dad made me think this way because of his sense of humor when he described Santa, but here is what I know. The fucker broke into our house, came down the same chimney we had a raccoon stuck in once, ate the delicious looking cookies my mom made that I could not touch. Drank half of the milk and just leaves the rest out. Doesn't even have the decency to put the glass in the fucking kitchen sink. So I would have to do it. I think I also had a dream about him once where he had claws and sharp teeth and whatnot. Therefore, when Christmas morning came around and my younger brother got up at 4 am. I slept in because there was no way I was going to run into that fucking Santa and have him steal my soul to power Rudolph's nose. Other than that MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE and watch out for fucking Santa. The dude is bad news.

Merry Christmas

Merry More Christ from Jeremy and Friends! I need to blog more.

You're from Cleveland ass!

Since Joe can't comment on my blog. I will just write about the stories I remember. There are many and let's just say I had a crazy good time in college and maintained a 3.8 GPA in Business Law. Yeah, that's right bitches I studied and had a good time. It is possible with the right attitude and some adderall. So it was my junior year and we moved into an apartment complex that was close to the Villas and tailgating so it was prime for good block parties. Our first week there we met our neighbors and Joe came down from Chicago to visit because the first two weeks of college are insanely fun. The girls that moved in next door we a little weird. But there was one in particular that cracked my shit up. She was around 6'2" and played some sport that i don't remember. Maybe field hockey or some shit. What I do remember about her though is she sported more Jamaican articles than the whole movie of Cool Runnings. There was a head band, shirt, and arm bands. That is no fucking joke. Arm bands! Mind you I have not heard a word come out of this girls mouth yet. She was darker complected so I naturally assumed she was from Jamaica. Then while me and Joe were out on the deck of my apartment (most likely shooting the water balloon launcher at the sorority girls at the pool) she came out and said hello. In a completely Midwestern accent. I was so disappointed. I think they saw it in my eyes. Because her friend immediately said we are from Cleveland, OH. I had no choice but to laugh at that point. I was an asshole in college trust me. I might still be a little now, but not to people I like. So to display my assholishness I kept asking her about Jamaica this time a year, and if she had any ganja we could smoke. Oddly enough and at this point making me go into a hysterical fit, she did! This is already around 11pm so we were about to go out and have been pre-gaming so Joe and I were already drunk and about to walk down the road to my friend Mikos' house for a party. However, Joe and I thought it would be smart to smoke with them and then head over. Not the best idea. Due to us being incredibly drunk and smoking this shit, I was black out Charlie. Next thing I know I am at Mikos' and he is asking me where Joe is. I literally had no clue. So I walked back to my apartment and asked my roommate where the fuck Joe was. Nobody knew. Mikos' was packed so he might of been there but we usually played DJ or beer money collectors. Then I heard the faint sound of water splashing upstairs in the bathroom. I was like Frey is Josh here. He said no Josh went with you to the party. Fuck, I am so drunk I don't even know who walked with me to Mikos'. So I ran upstairs and knocked on the door, hoping to the lord Josh didn't kill a hooker in the bathroom. When knocked i heard a mumble. Then I opened the door and there he was! Joe was so drunk and apparently on the ganja hard that he stumbled up to the bathroom with his jeans on, laid down in the tub and turned on the water. So i did what any friend would do. I turned off the shower and got one of Frey's blankets and covered him in the tub. Then I ordered some Pizza Express. What? I was fucking drunk.

THE END :)

Stories of insanity

I feel that because Joe is now following my blog I should post a couple stories of our craziest nights. Of course with paint illustrations. Joe any one suggestion you would like for me to bring to life via paint?

Houston we have flakage

Oh yeah it happened. I will not be going to festival of lights tonight. I however, can not blame anyone but myself. This should be the straw that broke the camel's back. When I said should, I mean needs to be for sure. Now deciding what I want to do with my night. Have a drink, go to the grocery store, or be mad? Life is too short to be pissed at stupid little things like going to the zoo. So I will go have a drink :)

Commence Countdown - 2nd go around

Alright, so our plans got changed to today. It was a mutual agreement to better enjoy ourselves tonight. Let's see if there is a flake. My balls are completely prepared to take a swift kick. However, it would be my own damn fault because i don't learn from the past.

PS - I feel bad writing a blog about her and calling her a flake, she is actually really nice. Thankfully, I don't think she reads this. If she does, please ignore everything in this blog besides the line that is in green font.

Thanks and regards,

Jeremy B.

Commence Countdown

So first let me start this blog post by apologizing for not posting in a while. I was busy, Thanksgiving, and everything else that happens in my insane life. I am not going to lie though, any apology that is in a blog is not sincere. Thus, I am not sorry I was just fucking busy. But I love you all.

Ok,

So I have had a little thing for this girl that I have known since I have moved to Cincinnati, we go out every once and a while and we see each other all the time because we play co-ed rec sports together. If someone said to me describe this girl. I would say nice, a little strange (but I like it), and a flake. Yeah i know what you are thinking a flake. You are god damn right she is a flake but somehow I keep making plans with her or she makes plans with me and then they disappear quicker than a priest at a Justin Biebler concert. So tonight's plans were to go to the Festival of Lights. This was completely her plan and she knows I fucking love the zoo. So obviously good company good zoo I was pretty pumped. However, I have to keep in mine she is a flake so I am counting down the hours until 5 pm to see if she does. She talked to me last night before I went out and said did you hear it is suppose to snow tomorrow. So there is hint one that she is going to flake. We will see, because the rule should be you flake once... damn. You flake twice... you are a horrible person. You flake 3 times, go fuck yourself and next time just kick me in the nuts while holding an animal from the zoo. So time will tell whether I just end up going to see a movie and go out drinking tonight or I am at the zoo happy as can be whether it's with a flake or not. :)